What Happened to Us?
by SakuraGenki
Summary: We haven't been together for 7 years, and yet I still think of you. This is a story about regrets and what happens when the one you love slips through your fingers.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! Because of the positive response I got from "My Last Good Bye" here is a new story that spins out that one shot. I'm just jumping into this one, so I'm not going to promise anything, but I hope you enjoy! Please review!!

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.

"_Hello, my name is Kinomoto Sakura," a 13 year old Sakura smiled, holding out her hand._

"_My name is Li Syaoran," the amber eyed boy replied, shaking her hand._

"_Hey Sakura, are you just going to stand there or are you going to kick the soccer ball!" Meilin called from the goal posts._

"_Coming!" Sakura yelled, kicking the ball. Just as she was about to kick it into the goal, a whirl went by and she ended up kicking thin air!_

"_Syaoran, the ball is supposed to stay on the ground!" Meilin scolded her friend._

_Syaoran gave a mischievous smirk, "Kinomoto, you better run before I hit you!" he shouted, holding the ball up over his head as he ran towards Sakura._

"_AHHHHHH!" Sakura cried as she ran away._

"_Ohohohohoho," Tomoyo giggled, holding the camera up to her eye._

♥♣♠♦

My first memory of you was the beginning of our strange relationship.

♥♣♠♦

_Sakura smiled as she got her yearbook back from Syaoran. Even though they only met a month ago, they surprisingly became friends rather quickly. "I'll read it when I get home," Sakura thought to herself as she handed her yearbook off to Tomoyo._

_Later that night…_

_Sakura giggled, Tomoyo had claimed a whole page once again! At least this year she didn't put in any embarrassing pictures._

"_Ah, here's Li-kun's."_

"_Hey Kinomoto,_

_I've only known you for a month or so, but I guess you're all right. Anyway, have a great summer-Li Syaoran_

_Ps: don't you find Meilin annoying? JK!"_

_Sakura smiled a small smile. Everyone knew that Syaoran had a thing for Meilin, but too bad for Syaoran the feelings would never be returned._

♥♣♠♦

Meilin was the one who introduced us, the one who would bring us together

♥♣♠♦

_Over the summer, Syaoran managed to talk Meilin into dating him. So they "dated," for less than a month when Meilin broke it off with him. Sakura giggled as Meilin retold her what had happened, "Aww, poor Li-kun! Do you think he's going to be traumatized for life?"_

"_Nah, he'll get over it and move on, I'm sure!"_

♥♣♠♦

At the time, I never knew that Meilin and I would trade places.

♥♣♠♦

_Some how, Sakura and Syaoran's friendship grew at an alarming rate. How did it all happen when Sakura had a crush on an unattainable guy and Syaoran changed crushes every 2 weeks? The answer is quite simple: they always turned back to each other in the end. They told each other everything that was going on in their lives; they had become each other's confidant. So it is no surprise that they eventually dated, but let's see how they got there._

"_Syaoran, Eriol and I just broke up," Sakura said calmly as she talked to him over the phone._

"_What? How did this happen?!"_

"_Well, two weeks ago he and I were going to go bowling with the gang. But he couldn't go, so Chiharu called and told me not to come. Well, I found out from Meilin that the reason I was told it was cancelled was because he couldn't go! Can you believe that?! So I decided that we should take a break, and then today we broke up."_

"_I'm sorry Sakura"_

"_No, it's ok. Now that I think about it, Eriol and I were nothing really. Anyway, I have homework to do, so I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"_

"_Ok, bye"_

_A week later during lunch…_

"_Sakura, guess what I just heard," Meilin said not too softly in Sakura's ear._

_Everyone (meaning Syaoran, Tomoyo, Eriol, Chiharu, Rika, Naoko, and Yamazaki) slightly turned their heads as they listened up._

"_Hmm?"_

"_I heard that you like Syaoran and he likes you back!"_

_Sakura whipped her head around and looked Syaoran in the eye. He stared back with equal intensity._

"_Is that true…" Sakura started._

_Just then the bell rang._

"_Let me tell you something Sakura. I do like you, but I'm not going to make the first move," he whispered as he walked into the classroom._

_Needless to say, the next class was a bit awkward between the two, but they both tried to act as normal as they could. They didn't have the next class together, so Sakura had some time to think, and by the end of the period she knew what she had to do._

_As had become customary, Eriol (who was the only one in that class) walked her to her last class. And as was normal, they ran into Syaoran._

"_Hey Syaoran, can I talk to you alone?"_

"_Sure Sakura. What do you want?" he asked as they took a few steps away from Eriol._

"_I'm asking," Sakura stated, looking in his eyes._

_Syaoran looked dumbfound, "Hold on!" he shouted as he ran back to where Eriol was._

_Sakura shook her head and proceeded to walk, not wanting to be late for her class. But Syaoran came running back a few steps later._

"_Sakura, will you be my girlfriend?"_

_Sakura smiled, "You baka, of course!"_

_Syaoran let out a huge grin, "Good! I'm sorry for not responding right away, but I wanted to make sure with Eriol that it would be ok. After all, he is my best friend."_

_Sakura gave him a look of understanding. He was such a considerate person…_

♥♣♠♦

I had become your girlfriend.

♥♣♠♦

"_Hello?" Sakura asked, answering the phone_

"_Hey."_

"_Hey Syaoran. What's wrong?" Sakura frowned as she heard Syaoran's dead tone._

"_My father just passed away," Syaoran whispered._

♥♣♠♦

At that time, I wasn't ready to be the rock he needed me to be. Damn it, I was only 14…

♥♣♠♦

_Sakura and Syaoran had many great times. They seemed to be the perfect couple. Sure, there were bumps (namely by a man called Touya), but they worked past them. But nothing was able to predict what would happen…_

"_Here you go Syaoran," Sakura grinned. She had used all of his extra autograph pages for his yearbook!_

_Syaoran smiled, going back to what he was writing._

"_Are you going to the end of the year dance Sakura?" Meilin asked._

"_I will if you will."_

"_Ok, I'm going with Daisuke."_

_Syaoran looked up, "Sorry Sakura, I don't think I can go."_

"_It's ok Syaoran, I'll be with Meilin!"_

"_And I'll make sure no other boy touched her! Come Sakura, let's get our tickets!"_

_Sakura blew Syaoran a kiss as she was dragged away. But while they waited in line, they changed their mind when they saw the cheerleaders buying tickets. Unfortunately, Syaoran reconsidered and got a ticket…_

_After that, things got sticky. And five days later, Syaoran said the most hated words a girl could hear…_

"_Sakura, I think we should break up."_

♥♣♠♦

How was I supposed to know anything?! We were only freshmen in high school. And now, seven years later, here I am sitting on my bed in the dead of night, back in Tomoeda. Back to where it all happened…

♥♣♠♦

So how was it? It might seem a bit confusing, but I swear it will clear itself out as the story continues. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, thanks for the reviews! I'm starting to get a sense of direction with this story, so hopefully it will move along. But no promises, school has just started again and I'm in for one hell of a quarter...

Anyway, please enjoy and read and review!

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.

It was winter. When I was younger, I used to love this season. But now, it seems like what every stereotype says: cold and bleak.

"Dad, I'm going for a walk!" I shouted as I put on my boots.

"Ok, but be back in a few hours!"

"Bye," I replied, closing the door behind me.

Being a Sunday, the streets were relatively peaceful. Perfect. After the thoughts from last night, I needed to clear my head.

But what sparked those memories? I was cleaning my room, which I hadn't done since I left for college. And there it was, glaring at me. My old diary. And so I did what was natural, read! Unfortunately, that's when all those memories came crashing down like a broken dam.

After reading the diary, it led me to take out my high school yearbook from freshmen year, and read his entry.

I groaned. These thoughts should have never even entered my head! For goodness sakes, I have a boyfriend who I have been with for the last two years!

These thought never occur whenever he's around. But right now, he's visiting relatives in America. This isn't anything new, but last year when he went, we still talked online once a day and exchanged multiple emails. Yet, this time he barely sends an email and if he does, it never says anything.

Damn, why does life have to be so complicated?!

I pulled back the sleeve to my jacket and looked at my watch. 4:30, I've been out for half an hour without even knowing where I was headed.

I looked up and found myself in front of my old high school, Seijou High School. Surprisingly, the gate was still open, so I decided to wander around.

♥♣♠♦

_"Bleh," Sakura thought to herself, "School has started again."_

_Setting her bag on her desk, she laid her head down. Summer had just ended and her senior year was just beginning._

_"I wonder who else is in this class?" Sakura mused, lifting her head up as she heard the door open._

_Her eyes widened as Li Syaoran walked in._

_Sakura quickly put her head back down, waiting for him to walk past her. While they had made up since they broke up, that didn't affect the way Sakura still held something for him. They had an odd relationship: they always flirted unconsciously. Of course, both would deny it until their faces turned blue, but that was the sad truth._

_"Hey Sakura," Syaoran greeted as he stood in front of her desk._

_Sakura slowly lifted her head and gave a weak smile, "Hey Syaoran. How are you?"_

_"I'm good," Syaoran said, moving to take the desk behind her._

_"Phwee, why are you sitting there?" Sakura asked, turning around to face him._

_"Because this is where the teacher assigned, silly," Syaoran smirked before tapping her nose._

_Sakura blushed and quickly turned back to the front._

_Syaoran laughed, "Oh Sakura, still as cute as ever."_

_Little did he know that comment pushed blushing to a new degree._

♥♣♠♦

Ugh, those memories. I looked around. Everything was basically the same as when I attended. Sure, there was a little bit more wear on the buildings, but nothing was really missing.

I walked up the steps that lead to the lunch area. There, in the corner. That was where he always ate lunch with his friends. After we broke up, we went our separate ways, including who our friends were. I guess it was done unconsciously to avoid each other. I continued to hang out with Tomoyo and the girls while he went off to be with the preppy crowd.

I sat down on his bench, putting my head in my hands. Senior year was a turmoil of emotions with that guy. I don't know how he does it, but I swear he puts me under a spell every time I'm around him.

♥♣♠♦

_For a first day of school, today was actually going well for Sakura. Because of the classes she took in her previous three years, she only needed to take four classes in order to get into the college she wanted to!_

_Unfortunately, of the four classes, Syaoran was part of two and next door to her classroom in the one of the last remaining periods. This ultimately led to Syaoran and Sakura reconnecting and refreshing their friendship. But was there more?_

♥♣♠♦

I felt a headache coming on. What's wrong with me?! Why is he haunting me?

♥♣♠♦

_He was part of the badminton team. To Sakura, this seemed strange because she never knew he even had an interest in the sport! He still manages to surprise her._

_And somehow, he managed to convince Sakura to come watch him._

_"Hey, there's a badminton game going on after school. Can you come?" Syaoran asked._

_By now, it was toward the end of the school year and Sakura was starting to fall for him again. So naturally, she went. And that's when her heart began to break._

_Syaoran had offered to give her a ride, but what he didn't tell her was that he was also driving three other girls, one who was considered to be his girlfriend._

_"I have no reason to be jealous," Sakura thought to herself as she sat in the cramp backseat. "I do not feel anything for that loser."_

_But things changed when he came over a few weeks later, about a week before prom._

_He was just dropping by to give Sakura back her notebook that he needed to copy (he had been sick). Sakura gladly accepted it back and walked him back to his car._

_"Hey Sakura, I just wanted to let you know that if I hadn't promised a girl that I would take her to the prom, you are the one I want to go with."_

♥♣♠♦

"Damn, why is he so kind? Why was he so understanding, yet so evil at the same time?" I cried out in pain. I felt the tears slowly gliding down my cheek as the memories kept coming.

I remembered when we were assigned in a group together in our Japanese class. It was a huge project that we had the whole year to work on, and of course everyone would wait to do it until the night before.

Our group had been the exception, but we still ended up pulling an all nighter. Wanting to get a good grade from this extremely tough teacher, we ran the distance and produced a product that all of us could be proud of.

And for some odd reason, he and I ended up working together and once again moving closer to what we were.

We never really talked about the past. Because that's all it is: the past. You can't do anything about it but relive it in your head. But you can't go back and change it. If it was possible, I would completely do it. Or would I?

"Ugh!" I shouted as my boyfriend's face floated into my mind. His name is Masaru and we met in college. He actually stopped me from committing suicide, but more on that later.

I know I'm wrong, thinking about two guys at the same time. One who was in my past and one who is in my present. But what about the future? What about the future...

♥♣♠♦

Ok, going to end it there. I know I'm writing short chapters, but I prefer writing shorter ones and getting them uploaded rather than write long chapters and update less frequently. I'll admit right now, this fanfic is probably the most difficult thing I've ever tried to write. I'm still working out how to convey the emotions correctly and yet have it be straight forward, so I ask for your patience! Thanks for the support from my readers and please continue to review!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again, back with another chapter. Thanks to those of you who are reviewing, it really makes me happy. Please continue with the support!

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.

By now, it was getting dark. I only realized how late it was when the wind blew across my tear streaked face and shocked me. I guess I really should be going home.

Because I wanted to walk some more, I took the long way home through Penguin Park. That silly penguin slide I used to love was still there. But I should've known going the long way home would only spark more memories of him.

♥♣♠♦

_Sakura laughed as she ran from Syaoran who wore a grin on his face. As she zoomed past a group of moms, she received odd stares as she was a smiling 14 year old being chased by a guy._

_"Sakura, I'm going to get you!" Syaoran teased, putting on an extra burst of speed._

_"Ahhh!!" Sakura giggles as she was tackled in the sand._

_Syaoran twisted mid-fall so that he landed on his back with Sakura landing on his chest._

_"Syaoran, let go, you're sweaty!" Sakura whined as she struggles against him._

_"Muhahaha, I'm not letting you escape love!" Syaoran laughed evilly as he tightened his hold around her waist._

_They've been together for 2 months now. Being such a young couple had its challenges, such as friends, school, family, and namely time!_

_A few weeks ago, Syaoran said "I love you" to Sakura. That put a little strain on the relationship, as Sakura didn't know how to respond. But Syaoran was patient with her, and earlier that day told him that she loved him too. Unfortunately, she told him after he had just ran, so he was sweaty. Which resulted in the chase around the park._

_Sakura sighed, giving up struggling against him. Syaoran smirked._

_"Say it again," he whispered as their heart beats returned to a normal pace._

_Sakura blushed. "I love you."_

_"I love you too, Sakura."_

♥♣♠♦

I couldn't deal with it anymore. His face is haunting me, everywhere I go.

When did he put this spell on me? How?

"Sakura?" a voice said from behind me.

I knew that voice all too well.

♥♣♠♦

_"Wah, I hate math!" Sakura declared as she walked home from school._

_"Ah, it's not that bad Sakura," her other best friend, Tomoyo, said._

_"Tomoyo, you're good at everything though!"_

_"Stop exaggerating!"_

_Sakura playfully stuck out her tongue as she ran into someone._

_"Hey, just because I'm your boyfriend doesn't mean you can walk into my anytime you like," Syaoran teased as he wrapped his arms around Sakura._

_Sakura jumped. "Opps, I guess I should pay more attention to where I'm walking huh?" Sakura smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck._

_"To anyone else, yes. But I'll always gladly take you in my arms."_

_"KAWAII!" Tomoyo shouted from behind her video camera._

♥♣♠♦

"Two coffees," the waitress said.

"Thank you," I mumbled as I wrapped my hands around the mug. I didn't realize how cold I was until I was dragged into this cafe.

I looked at the person in front of me. "I didn't know you were back in town Tomoyo," I smiled at my best friend.

"Hey, you didn't tell me either!"

After high school, everyone in the group went their separate ways, but we all still kept in touch. Not always as much as we wanted though.

"I came back last week. You?"

"Today actually. My school's finals are still in session, but my finals ended early."

I nodded, taking a sip of the warm beverage.

"Sakura, is he still bothering you?"

She knew me so well. I tried to smile. "What makes you think that?"

Tomoyo sighed. "Sakura, we practically grew up together. You should know that I can tell when the smile on your face is fake."

I let my face drop again. "Yes Tomoyo. I don't even know why! But every time I come home, he seems to haunt me. It's like every time I enter the Tomoeda borders his face is pulled out from the cabinets of my brain. Tomoyo, what should I do?!" I asked with desperation.

Tomoyo looked at me with pity. I hated it when people did that. But then again, Tomoyo knew all about him and me. She knew the happiness, the sadness, and the pain.

"I know you haven't spoken to him in over two years..."

"You don't think I don't realize that?!" I interrupted. "But now that I look back at it, I can't believe we got into a fight over something so stupid! Of course I didn't think that it was stupid back then..."

"What exactly did you fight about?"

♥♣♠♦

_Sakura sat in front of her computer, chatting to people through instant messaging. She looked at her screen as _da wolfman_ messaged her._

_da wolfman: hey_

_flowernerd: hello_

_da wolfman: what's up?_

_flowernerd: nothing much_

Later on...

_da wolfman: damn Sakura, do you think the world revolves around you?_

_Sakura stared at her screen in disbelief. Did Syaoran really just say that? Glaring, she replied._

_flowernerd: no, but obviously you believe that._

_da wolfman: I'm only saying what I see_

_flowernerd: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!_

♥♣♠♦

"Hell, I don't even remember what led to that comment. But he didn't reply after that. So I deleted his number, his email, and his screen name. Though I did add him back later even though I don't have any idea why," I explained. "And now, it just seems so trivial!"

"Of course it does now. We're growing up, whether we like it or not. All the things that seemed so big in high school seem so small, at least to me."

"Yeah, me too."

We both fell silent, staring out the window.

"How are things with Masaru?" Tomoyo asked, taking a sip of her drink.

"It's fine," I replied. "We have our bumps, but otherwise we're happy together."

"Then maybe it's time to move on Sakura."

I looked down at my coffee. "I know Tomoyo. And I have moved on. Masaru and I have been together now for two years. I love him. But, I know that a part of me still loves Syaoran."

"How?" Tomoyo asked, a hint of confusion in her voice.

"It's hard to explain," I replied. Tomoyo has been with the same guy, Eriol Hiiragizawa, since high school.

"I know that you're thinking that I'll never understand because I've been with Eriol forever," Tomoyo gave her knowing smile. "But you know that I'll always listen to you."

I closed my eyes, trying to collect my thoughts. "Even though I had no concept of love when we dated," I started, slowly opening my eyes. "I look back now and I realized that Syaoran was my first love. And I do know that we haven't been on good terms really since then. We did start to reconnect again in senior year. But then college came and we're back to where we started."

Tomoyo gave a small smile to me confession. But I continued. "It's just weird, you know? I love Masaru, but at the same time I know that Syaoran will always have a portion of my heart that no one else will ever be able to fill."

"I think," Tomoyo tightened her lips, as if thinking for the right words. "I think that it is possible to love more than one person. But what it ultimately comes down to is loving someone and being able to be with them for the rest of your life. Isn't that the case?"

It was my turn to think. "To tell you the truth, that thought never really occurred to me."

"Then maybe it's time that you think about it."

♥♣♠♦

I waved to Tomoyo as we went our separate ways, promising to see each other again before we left for school in January.

I looked at my phone, checking for missed calls. "Crap!" I shouted, noticing the time.

"Hey Dad," I said as he picked up the phone.

"Sakura, where are you? We had dinner without you because it's so late!"

"I'm sorry, I really am. I was just going for a walk when I ran into Tomoyo. We went to a near by cafe and just lost track of time."

"Ok, I understand. Are you coming home now?"

"I still have to get some errands done. I'll be home by nine."

"Ok. Bye."

I hung up, going back to my previous thoughts.

♥♣♠♦

_Sakura and Syaoran laid together on the soccer field, staring up at the stars._

_"Hey Sakura, can I ask you a question?" Syaoran whispered, breaking the comfortable silence._

_"Of course," Sakura simply said, snuggling further into his embrace._

_"When you think of the future, do you see us?"_

_Sakura sent him a quizzical glance._

_"Because for me, I do."_

_"Me too," Sakura smiled. "I want to be with you forever Syaoran."_

_"I love you Sakura," Syaoran whispered, bringing her into a gentle kiss._

♥♣♠♦

I wandered back to that same field. Even though it had been spring when Syaoran and I laid there and it was currently covered in snow, to me all I could see was the scene that took place that night.

I sat down in the snow before leaning back, watching the stars. I was never one to do this very often; it was Syaoran who had suggested the idea. So now, every time I catch myself staring into space, all I could think about is him.

I closed my eyes. It was considerably cold, and while my body was screaming for me to go find some place warm, I still wanted to just lie out there, trying to forget all these feelings.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps. My eyes snapped open and I looked around.

"Sakura...?"

I knew that voice all too well.

♥♣♠♦

Yay, another chapter done! This one definitely was hard to write and took me a few days to write it. Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. My life went really crazy and I finally have a quiet night to write...

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.

_Previously..._

_Suddenly, I heard footsteps. My eyes snapped open and I looked around._

_"Sakura...?"_

_I knew that voice all too well._

♥♣♠♦

I quickly turned my back on the person, but it was a bad attempt to feign ignorance as I heard the footsteps get closer to me. I pulled my knees to my chest and laid my head down, trying desperately not to cry. No, not in front of...

"Sakura," the person whispered my name again.

That broke the dam, hearing my name. The way it was said, it couldn't be any other person.

♥♣♠♦

_"Ne, Li-kun, is it ok if I call you Syaoran-kun? I feel like we've really become close friends!"_

_"Hai."_

_"And it's ok to call me Sakura, ok?"_

_"Hai."_

_"Phwee, is that all you can say?"_

_"Iie, Sakura."_

_"Yay, you said my name!"_

♥♣♠♦

"Syaoran," I replied with my head still buried in my arms.

I suddenly felt him pull me into his arms. "God, I've missed you," he murmured into my hair.

My tears were no longer silent. I started to shake as so many emotions overtook me. And the next thing I knew, my world went black.

♥♣♠♦

_"Are you feeling alright?" Syaoran asked with concern, turning to his girlfriend._

_Sakura gave a small smile as she struggled to stay upright. "I'm fine. Just a slight cold."_

_"Sakura!" Syaoran scolded. "You should be at home resting!"_

_"I can't, there's a test in three classes today. I need to take them..."_

_Syaoran sighed. "Fine, but promise me when you get home tonight, you'll go straight to bed, ok?"_

_"Ok."_

_Unfortunately, Sakura's illness worsened during the day, especially during lunch._

_"Sakura, you should go home," Tomoyo said as she saw her best friend's tired eyes._

_"I'm... fine," Sakura murmured, taking a seat beside Meilin._

_"You know, as soon as Syaoran gets here, he's going to demand you go home immediately," Meilin commented, hearing their earlier conversation._

_Sakura didn't respond. Suddenly, she tipped over, but not before hearing someone calling her name._

_When she came to, her vision was blurred slightly. But as it cleared, she didn't recognize where she was._

_"Good, you're awake," Syaoran said as he came to where she was lying on the couch._

_"Syaoran..?" Sakura whispered, still feeling weak due to her illness._

_"You silly girl," Syaoran scolded lightly, taking a wet cloth and wiping away the sweat on her forehead. "I told you you should've gone home today. Now look at you."_

_"I'm sorry..."_

_"It's ok," Syaoran smiled. "Now I have a reason to take care of you when you're sick."_

_Sakura returned the smile as she succumbed to her feverish sleep._

♥♣♠♦

Darkness. I was surrounded by the dark. I thought I had escaped it two years ago.

I guess I should explain myself. My first year of college was really rough. I left Tomoeda to go to Tokyo, which for me was a big move. On top of that, I didn't know anyone. Tomoyo is also somewhere in Tokyo, but this city is so large we hardly ever saw each other.

And that's when I met a guy. Isn't it ironic how everything always seems to start like that? Being emotionally unstable, I leaned on him. He was quite a bit older than me, but at the time it didn't bother me. Hell, I was only 18 at the time, what do you expect?

Anyway, this guy ended up using me. I won't go into the details, for I have buried them into the deepest part of my brain. I probably wouldn't be even to recall those dreaded memories even if my life was on the line. They have only reappeared in my dreams. Dreams, those crazy thoughts and images the brain produces during REM. It seems so scientific, yet at the same time so unexplainable.

It was at this time that I met my current boyfriend, Masaru. He was the one who helped me deal with the pain. He was the one who was there when I was so lonely and empty that I just wanted to die. He was the one who saved me from myself.

And yet, he is no where in my mind. My only thoughts are of _him_. And I hate myself for it. Why is it that I keep dreaming of his face? His smile? His voice? It's haunting my like a ghosts supposedly haunts a person.

This darkness is overbearing, slowly suffocating me. But yet I see something, a faint candle light, and that light is slowly taking conquering the dark...

♥♣♠♦

So, how was it? This last bit might have been a bit confusing, but all will be explained in the next chapter. I'm hoping to end this within two more chapters, so please keep reading and reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys, I'm sorry to say but this is the final chapter. I really had no plan when I started to write this and the lack of reviews has really made me think that it might not be worth my time to stretch this out any longer. I know that the lack of reviews doesn't mean anything, but when I have so little time they are really my only way of knowing if I should spend my time on this story. Thanks to all my readers for reading this story and I really hope you enjoy the ending. Writing this has taken a lot of time and effort because it is so emotionally tied to me. I don't want to say anything after the final words, so here is my always present phrase: please read and review!

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS

Previously...

_This darkness is overbearing, slowly suffocating me. But yet I see something, a faint candle light, and that light is slowly taking conquering the dark..._

♥♣♠♦

"Sakura, Sakura, Sakura!"

I heard my name as the light suddenly flooded my sight. I started blinking, trying to regain consciousness.

I realized I was lying down, in a surrounding that I knew all too well.

"You finally decided to come to?" he smirked at me.

His smile hasn't changed, and neither have his eyes. Both are still as joyful, cocky, and handsome as I remembered. But his face, it has matured. He's no longer the teenager Syaoran-kun, no, he's the man Li Syaoran.

"Syaoran," I whispered, my eyes beginning to tear up.

I was lying on the sofa in his living room, just like the last time I was sick. He was even in the same position too, sitting on a chair near my waist. The only thing missing was the TV table that held medication and a bowl with a towel.

Just like déjà vu, as soon as he realized I was awake, he got up and gently took me in his arms. Cradling my head, he again whispered "God, I've missed you."

This time, I held in my tears and whispered back "I've missed you too."

We held onto each other for God knows how long. Neither of us said a word, we just soaked in the comfort that we always had when we were around each other, savoring the moment. For who knew when a moment like this would ever come again?

He tenderly pulled away, taking a good look of me. I felt like I did when we first met, embarrassed as his eyes scanned my image into his head. But hey, I was guilty of taking his appearance in a few minutes ago, so I guess you can now call us even.

"Would you like some tea?" he asked as he got up and headed to the kitchen.

"Yes please," I replied, grateful for something warm after being in the cold.

I watched him from the counter as he prepared the tea mugs and water. He had grown once again, making him close to six feet, if not a little over. His frame had also filled out, and I could see his toned muscles underneath the brown sweater he was wearing. I chuckled to myself as I realized that his hair was as crazy as always, I guess some things never change.

After a few minutes, he placed a steaming mug in front of me.

"So, what's new with you?" he asked, starting a casual conversation.

That's what started this long conversation about what happened to us over the past two years. I can't recall exactly what we said, but I do remember finding out a number of things. He was still pre-med. School was a bitch according to him. I sympathized the best I could. He told me he's had several girlfriends but nothing ever worked.

Oh, but there was one thing he did say that will haunt me forever. "It seems that since you, no girl has yet been able to fulfill your shadow."

He moved on quickly after saying that. The little Syaoran came back out again when his cheeks ever so lightly turned pink. But it was gone in a flash, I guess he got that under control after all these years.

For most of the conversation I mainly talked about school and friends, but I had yet to mention Masaru. It must have been at least three hours since we started talking, yet I couldn't bring it up. I knew he was curious about whether or not I moved on; especially after he talked about his own love life he raised his eye brows at me as I quickly changed the subject. However, that's when he noticed something. I was talking adamantly about my job and waving around my hands when he suddenly took my hands in his own.

"You have new rings," he whispered, looking at each finger.

To me, rings are very sentimental. Some girls collect necklaces, others bracelets, but for me it has always been rings. I'm not sure why I like them so much, but over the years they've come to represent different guys. I guess you could say that my rings are like my hallmark of past and present lovers.

Of course, Syaoran knew this too. Anyone close to me knew what the rings meant. Syaoran also knew exactly which ring was his; the ring on my right ring finger. It amazed me that he knew that I had two new rings...

The topic just couldn't be dropped, could it?

"Yes, I do have new rings," I replied. I know, I'm just stating the obvious, but I really did not want to talk about this.

"From who?" Syaoran pushed, glaring at the offending rings with a glare that if given to a person would send him flying in the other direction.

I sighed before whispering my reply. "My boyfriend."

Syaoran looked over at me, his look startled. I guess it was to be expected. During high school, I only had one more boyfriend after him, and that guy was still Syaoran's friend. Syaoran was different; he always had a different girl on his arm every few months. I didn't care at the time, and even now I can't really say that I do. While I may still love him, what he does with his life is none of my business. And unless he wants me in his life, I'm not going to force myself onto him.

But it was so shocking, seeing his reaction to those two uttered words. His face went from startled to depressed to emotionless in less than a few seconds. "How long...?" he whispered, but they rang in the still air.

The previous happy atmosphere was gone. "Two years come March," I answered.

He whistled. "I never thought..." he started, letting his sentence die off.

"Syaoran...?" I asked, wondering what he was going to say.

He didn't reply for the longest time. A silence settled over us like a thick blanket. I wasn't comfortable, and yet I did not have the courage to break the silence either. I hung my head, unable to look at him any longer.

Then suddenly, I was roughly pulled off my seat and into his arms. He slammed me against his chest, almost painfully, and wrapped one arm around my waist and cradled my head with the other.

"What happened to us, Sakura?" Syaoran whispered into my hair as his hold on me tightened.

I leaned into him. "I don't know Syaoran. I don't know," I breathed back. It was so quiet that even my softly spoken words rung throughout the apartment.

After a few minutes my cell phone rang. It was Masaru's ring tone. I gently pushed Syaoran away as I went to answer the phone.

"Moshi moshi? Hai, I am a little busy right now. Oh, really? Ok, please tell him I'll be home soon. Yes, I'm fine. I love you too. Ja ne," I said as I hung up the phone.

I turned to Syaoran as he looked at me, sadness permeating his eyes. "That was my boyfriend. Apparently my father called him to ask where I was since I didn't pick up my phone."

Syaoran just continued to look at me with those eyes, the same eyes that have been haunting my dreams for the past few months. No, take that back. In my dreams, those eyes had been full of happiness. Now they looked dead.

"I better get going," I spoke after a period of silence. I collected my belongings and headed to the door.

Once again, I was slammed into his chest. "Take care, Sakura," he whispered, his voice breaking.

"You too, Syaoran."

And with that, his arms fell and I walked away.

As the door closed and the lock slid into place, all I could wonder was if I did the right thing. It has been so many years since we were romantically involved, yet it still felt like it was yesterday.

Syaoran's question haunted me all the way home. "What happened to us?" repeated over and over again. And to tell you the truth, I really just do not know. But I do know that it is time that I finally move on from my memories of Syaoran. I'm not saying that I will ever forget him, oh no, he will always be in my memories and in my heart. However, I will no longer dwell on what could have been and what could be.

Who knows what the future holds for us? And if it is fate that we will meet again under the right circumstances, then maybe we really will be together. But as of now, I have a boyfriend who loves me and who I love also.

I got to the porch of my house and just stared at the door. As I unlocked it, it was like unlocking a new door in my life. And after I entered and closed it, the old chapter was now done. I leaned against the door, with only one thought in my mind.

Good bye Li Syaoran. Good bye.


End file.
